See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny skits are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be inserted into a magazine), and they only require a short time to rehearse. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also check out School Humor.
1. Sketch "At Russian language lessons"
Teacher: Let's see how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov (raises his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?
Student Sidorov: Because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.
Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: What?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal.
Student Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!
2. Sketch "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?
Student: No, I shouldn’t have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don’t like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: Now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Sketch "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the board and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
A student takes dictation on the board.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher: So, an A? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher: In the prepositional form? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Sketch "At mathematics lessons"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you have difficulty counting to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Disciple Petrov: I don’t have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn’t have free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Student Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Student Petukhov: “Frog Traveler”
Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That’s what I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (coming to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I’m terribly worried that the bell might interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene “Folder under the mouse”
Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey (laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Sketch "3=7 and 2=5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: What?
Teacher: You haven’t done anything all year, you haven’t taught anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is that?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: Let’s take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: Let’s take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Sketch "Schoolboy and salesman"
Characters: a schoolboy and a store sales assistant
Sales consultant: What can I tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales consultant: I don’t know.
Schoolboy: Okay... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales consultant: ... (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales consultant: (sighing) I don’t know...
Schoolboy: Well, why are you bothering then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Sketch "Schoolchildren at the Stadium"
Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant
A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly the voice of the stadium informant comes on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
“SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!”
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Sketch “Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather”
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wow, things are going strong.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, just one wick froze this. Rolls towards the cage. Let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And let him show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how it gets messy. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went crazy, and the bike booed. Laugh. Cool, right?
- Was there a horse there?
- Which horse?
- Well, the one who was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, didn’t you understand anything?
- Come on, let's do it all over again.
- Well, let's. So, one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- What kind of wick is this?
- Well, one guy, a long one, rolled up to the sket...
-What did he ride up on, a bicycle?
- No, the skete had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, there's only one idiot. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a snob.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the shape of a snob. Well, let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he have an itch?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how did you saw it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same schnobel?
- No, the cat had a snob. And the wick got a black eye, a blast hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He opened his mitten, and so he jerked.
- Why the mitten, did he get fussy in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher there.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But it was the rolling of the bike that made the bike whoop.
- How did you whoop?
- And so, I’m covered. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you don’t know the Russian language at all.
- I don’t know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen?
- What?
- Remember, at Gogol's. “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when its full waters freely and smoothly rush through forests and mountains, neither rustling nor thundering. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width is moving or not” and further, “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.”
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your quirky language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, roaming and showing off, it saws its cool waves through the forests and mountains. you don’t know whether he’s sawing or not. A rare bird with a shnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper, and if it finishes scratching, it will whoop and throw off its hooves.” Do you like?
“I like it,” he said and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.”
(Lion Izmailov)
11. Young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello, baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Shall we come with me? I will give you an unforgettable evening!
GIRL: Sounds good. But my mother is waiting for me at home at 23-00.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! What, are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha!
Suddenly, someone’s hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an older woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, mom! I…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.
GRANDMOTHER (pointing to the boy). I've looked through everything and the glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (addresses the boy). Have you swallowed granny glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and find out everything.
GRANDMOTHER (joyfully). Yep, gotcha! I wish I had something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (looks at the picture). Well, well, well... You know... not only does he have glasses here, he also has a wallet with money. I can’t say exactly, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out on the floor.
GRANDMOTHER (grabs her glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (twists his wallet in his hands). No need. But if possible, I’ll keep the wallet as a souvenir.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we don’t need someone else’s.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Zmey Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Vodyanoy
SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher’s room):
...Yes, I told him a hundred times!..
Well, what did he do again?
GOBBLE:
Multiplied the minus with the sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatross...
WITCH:
Throwing apricots...
KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!..
GOBBLE:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with yawning!
WATER:
But yesterday
Brought to class
Hippopotamus!!!
GOBBLE:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (unctuously):
Maybe give him poison?..
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM –
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.
GOBBLE:
A hundred years ago
We would have it
Certainly,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In reserve...
WATER:
Agree!
Let's not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to entice him
A good example.
SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less or more...
That is, more or less!..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, what a hassle there is with children!..
DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn his lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...
ALL IN CHORUS:
We'll turn it around
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Daily routine
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Certainly! Regime... Regime is where I want, I jump there.
PETER:
- Wrong! A regime is a daily routine. Are you fulfilling it?
VOVA:
- I even exceed it.
PETER:
- Like this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, but I walk four!
PETER:
- No, you are not exceeding it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Making the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETER:
- Fine.
VOVA:
- And it can be even better.
PETER:
- How is this?
VOVA:
- Like this! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETER:
- Oh no. Under this regime, you will turn out to be lazy and ignorant.
VOVA:
- Will not work.
PETER:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we follow the entire regime.
PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- Yes. I do half of it, and grandma does half of it. And together we get the whole regime.
PETER:
- I don't understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. The grandmother does the exercises. Washing is grandma. Making the bed - grandma. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparing lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.
PETER:
- Aren’t you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https://site/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come together!
Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. They approach the barriers. Pushkin's opponent fires a shot. Pushkin lies wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, I was left for the second year in literature!!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing with his hand at a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is such a slowpoke! I came across interesting riddles here about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka’s intelligence.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “The time between two bells is called...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that’s right, “change” is appropriate, but the answer must be in rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, I said it myself, that’s right, and then you start...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me tell you another riddle, just think about it before you tell me the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports hall...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? For what? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already falling behind on my left foot. And the sporting goods store is right opposite the school. You've seen him a hundred times too.
SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings; in schools they receive...”
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn’t touch Lenka Petrova’s bow, but she hit me on the head with a book, bam-bang.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouting):
I got a C, C again in math.
SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well, Vovka is slow-witted! What a slowpoke! Although... I look, his face is cunning and cunning. Maybe he was playing a trick on me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello, dear! ... Did our Bear do his homework? … Yes? What about his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room?! Crap! Have you eaten soup?! Nothing... I just went into the store, and there was a sale on belts!
Every year, teachers in more than 100 countries celebrate Teacher's Day. Thus, in Russia, since 1994, this professional holiday received state status and was moved to October 5, a date designated by the international community. According to tradition, on Teacher’s Day, schools hold ceremonial events, class hours, and, as part of the “unofficial” part, festive buffets or banquets. In addition to bouquets of autumn flowers and cute souvenirs, schoolchildren prepare concerts with songs and dances for their beloved teachers for such a significant date. We propose to introduce several original and “fresh” ideas into the Teacher’s Day scenario - primary and high school students can act out funny humorous scenes about teachers and school, and also learn beautiful dances. With appropriate preparation, such numbers are quite capable of being performed by all students - from 5th to 10th grade. And our videos will help young “artists” better prepare for their performances and amaze the audience with their outstanding theatrical and dancing abilities.
Funny humorous scenes for Teacher's Day for primary school students - ideas and videos
School humor is anecdotes, gags, riddles, jokes, jokes and a truly inexhaustible source of fun and good mood. Therefore, you can add funny humorous scenes on a school theme to the Teacher’s Day script. As a rule, such productions are based on stories from the everyday school life of students and teachers, slightly embellished and “seasoned” with notes of light humor. Thus, primary school students can prepare a funny skit for their favorite teacher on Teacher’s Day, the main characters of which are a strict teacher and a “lazy” student. As a plot, you can choose any, the most common case - “I forgot my diary at home,” “I was late for class,” “I put a button on my friend’s chair.” Such funny scenes on Teacher's Day are always relevant and evoke a lot of positive emotions in the audience. Of course, students need to properly rehearse their routine, learn their lines, and most importantly, feel like real actors, albeit on a school “scale.” Inspiration and creative ideas to you!
A funny skit for Teacher's Day for primary school - about a physical education teacher and Vovochkin's dad
Anecdotes about Vovochka and his parents have long become “classics” of modern humor. After all, teachers and parents of students are often two “opposing” camps, between which funny situations arise every now and then. So such a scene for Teacher’s Day with the participation of these funny characters will undoubtedly appeal to both students and parents, and the “heroes” of the occasion.
So, at the beginning of the story, Vovochka’s dad comes to the school principal - on crutches and with his head bandaged. In response to the director’s surprised look, a demand follows: the school physical education teacher must pay monetary compensation for the injury received, since the hospital refused to issue a bulletin. As an “argument,” Vovochkin’s dad cites his own appearance, obtained as a result of performing exercises given by the physical teacher for the children. At this time, Vovochka’s dad stood behind the closed door and tried to repeat the teacher’s assignment. “Children, raise your right leg!” - and dad raised his right leg. Then came the command to raise his left leg, which Vovochkin’s parent tried to lift, while holding the window sill with his hands - his right leg was already raised! Having lost his “fulcrum,” Vovochka’s dad falls and hits his head on the floor. It turns out his feet are stuck in the battery! So trust the teacher after such classes - more children will get hurt! Needless to say, it’s a very “topical” and interesting topic for a humorous skit for Teacher’s Day.
Funny humorous skit for Teacher's Day for primary school - “Check”, video
This funny school skit for Teacher's Day does not require any special decorations or costumes. In the story, the teacher presents the class with a “surprise” - a test. It is clear that students use all their ingenuity and resourcefulness to avoid an unexpected “test”. So, the boys begin to distract the teacher’s attention with various funny antics and ask questions on “abstract” topics. However, the teacher does not even think of following the lead of the cunning students.
Such a simple, but touching and funny scene for Teacher's Day will bring a kind smile to the audience, give a good mood and add a relaxed atmosphere of humor to the holiday atmosphere. And many “recognize” themselves and their classmates in the participants in the skit!
A funny humorous skit on Teacher's Day for primary classes - “Battle of the Teachers”, video
The main character in this funny scene is a student, whom three teachers, under the “guidance” of the presenter, are alternately trying to force to give up the diary. So, which teacher manages to take the diary from a careless student in one minute will be the winner of the “battle.” After the leader announces the beginning, a primary school teacher is invited to the “field”. However, the “resourceful” student begins to come up with excuses on the fly: “The diary got lost,” “Grandma took the diary,” and others. The teacher never manages to take possession of the diary, and she leaves the “battlefield.” The next participant tries to “bribe” the cunning student with sweets - however, without success. And only the third teacher-participant manages to take away the treasured diary by “threatening” to call the parents of the little sly one. At the sight of the teacher taking out a mobile phone, the determination of the main “hero” evaporates, and the diary is handed over to the winner. The moral of the scene is that in some cases teachers simply cannot do without the support of parents.
Funny humorous skits for Teacher's Day for high school students - ideas and videos
High school students show limitless imagination in staging funny humorous skits for Teacher's Day. For example, you can use popular TV shows as a “template” and come up with a skit in this format, adding musical accompaniment from famous hits. So, to begin with, a presenter is selected who will announce and “direct” the performance of other “artists”. And the skit itself will be “constructed” in the form of small funny numbers “from the lives of teachers and students.” A win-win!
Funny skit for Teacher's Day for high school - “Expectation and reality”, video
This funny skit on Teacher's Day shows the discrepancy between expectations and reality from certain phenomena or events. Since it’s Teacher’s Day, we use incidents and events from school life for the skit. How does a teacher imagine a student being late for class? Certainly not at all like a student. And the teacher’s idea of how active students are in the lesson also differs from reality. Such a funny scene from the students will definitely cause cheerful laughter from the audience sitting in the hall.
Funny skit for Teacher's Day for high school - "Othello and Desdemona", video
It will be interesting for high school students to act out a funny skit, the plot of which is based on a parody of Shakespeare's immortal work. The main character of the scene is a teacher who devotes too much time to her work, while her husband and household chores remain unattended. Then the plot unfolds along a well-known line. Of course, the ending with the “strangulation” of Desdemona by the jealous Othello will also be humorous. For such a scene on Teacher’s Day, you can come up with poems in the “Shakespearean” spirit - it will turn out spectacular and will be remembered by teachers and parents for a long time.
Beautiful dances for Teacher's Day - for 5th grade, video
Dancing best conveys feelings and emotions. Therefore, for Teacher’s Day, you can learn a beautiful dance with 4th or 5th grade students, and choose famous rhythmic hits as the musical accompaniment. For a performance, the easiest way is to take a tape recorder or a music center with powerful speakers. The main thing is to be fiery and fun! For you, dear teachers!
Dance for Teacher's Day - “Teacher, control your dreams!”, video
Dance for Teacher's Day in hip-hop style - “Stop teaching - let's dance!”, video
Beautiful dances for Teacher's Day - for 10th grade, video
For students in grades 10 and 11, you can choose more “adult” dances than for restless fifth graders. Thus, catchy rock and roll performed by beautiful high school girls in dresses from the 60s will cause a storm of emotions among the audience. Simple movements and the unique charm of the girls - and a good mood on Teacher's Day will not keep you waiting. For greater effect, you can also prepare a dance number with an “assortment” of different styles - classical, breakdancing, rap.
Amazing dance from high school girls on Teacher's Day, video
Dance for Teacher's Day - from 10th grade students, video
Skits on Teacher's Day are a great opportunity not only to surprise and please your favorite teachers, but also to unite the class and make it more friendly. We have shared with you the best ideas for funny humorous skits about school and beautiful dances for Teacher's Day for primary and high schools - from 5 to 10. And with the help of our videos, students will be able to prepare the most fun and touching dance numbers for Teacher's Day.
Funny skits on Teacher's Day and beautiful, fiery dances performed by students will become a real decoration of the festive concert on the occasion of the professional holiday of all teachers. Funny, kind and harmlessly humorous productions with a slight dose of mockery will tell about the life of school groups and will allow guests and participants of the gala event to take a slightly different look at the relationship between teachers and students in the classroom.
On this beautiful day, teachers sit in the auditorium and serenely enjoy the performance, so all the roles are played by the schoolchildren themselves. To avoid misunderstandings, you should not call stage characters by the real names of teachers and classmates. No one present should feel embarrassed that their shortcomings and missteps were pointed out publicly right from the stage. It is better to give the characters fictitious names that do not appear in the class. Then both adults and children will have equally fun, and potential offenses and misunderstandings will not spoil the impressions of the festive event.
There are a lot of interesting ideas for costume scenes. The most popular in both elementary and high school include humorous performances on the topic of a test and a careless student trying to use a cheat sheet. No less often, children choose skits about being late for class, a forgotten diary, or unlearned homework.
The plots of classical works, tailored to the school theme, are perceived more creatively, brightly and unusually. For example, the famous dialogue between Othello and Desdemona can be played out as a scene of communication between a teacher who came home late and her hungry, offended husband, and the Russian fairy tale “The Little Humpbacked Horse” can be portrayed as a conversation between the schoolboy Ivan and the magic horse who helps the boy with school problems.
Beautiful, fiery dances will pleasantly diversify the program and fill it with enthusiasm and optimism. With elementary school kids, it’s enough to learn a few simple movements or just dance in a circle to the music. Students in grades 5-10 should choose more sophisticated numbers with unusual and stylish musical accompaniment. They will make the event more spectacular and vibrant, and those present will probably film the guys’ performance so that they can watch it again at home with their relatives and post it on their pages on social networks.
Funny humorous skit for Teacher's Day - “Check”
The most popular and funniest skit on Teacher's Day is called “Control”. In a humorous way, it shows a class trying by any means to avoid a test that suddenly falls on their heads. To the beat of modern, stylish music, the guys ask the teacher all sorts of ridiculous questions and try very hard to distract her from the topic of the lesson. Girls raise their hands and ask permission to go out, boys are interested in the list of dishes served in the dining room, laugh and fool around. But, despite all the antics of the young people, the teacher firmly stands her ground.
The scene is very easy to stage and does not require special costumes or any specific scenery. The guys play their roles in their school uniforms and sit at their regular desks. But, despite its unpretentiousness, the performance is always a huge success and causes real delight among teachers, students and guests present at the festive event.
Sketch for Teacher's Day for high school - “Othello and Desdemona”
On Teacher's Day, high school students can act out a funny skit called “Othello and Desdemona,” which shows the family life of teachers from a humorous perspective. The idea of the issue is that the teacher pays much more attention to her students, and practically forgets about her husband. After checking notebooks and grading, she doesn't even have time to buy groceries and cook lunch. All these events are described in poetic form and pronounced with some pathos characteristic of ancient classical works. And if you prepare costumes typical for the Shakespearean era for the scene, it will become unusually spectacular and will remain in the memory of all viewers for a long time. Young teachers, an elderly head teacher, and a respectable headmistress will laugh kindly at the content of the text. In the charming Desdemona, each of them will recognize some of their own traits and will once again remember how often they sacrifice family happiness and well-being for the sake of their native and beloved class.
Sketch for Teacher's Day for primary school - “Ideal School”
For primary school students, it is appropriate to learn the “Ideal School” skit for Teacher’s Day. In it, kids, in a playful and slightly frivolous way, will tell teachers how they imagine one ideal day at school. It turns out that boys and girls don’t really want to do serious things. They dream of surfing social networks, chatting on mobile phones, bragging to each other about their achievements in online games and receiving good grades and verbal encouragement from their mentors for this. However, at the end of the scene, the guys still remember that without proper knowledge they will have a very difficult time in their future adult life and decide not to exchange lessons for games and eating ice cream.
A student comes on stage and speaks:
Do you know that students have a completely different idea of school and school life? Do you want to know how they imagine it? Look! Classroom. Students sit at their desks, on their desks they have toys: boys have cars and robots, girls have dolls and coloring books.
The teacher sits in his place.
The teacher dials the phone number and student Ivanov’s phone rings.
Ivanov:
Yes, Marya Ivanovna!
Teacher:
Ivanov, tell Petrov to get in touch (social network). I sent him the solution to his homework in a private message.
Ivanov:
Okay, I'll pass it on.
The teacher dials the phone number again. Ira Kuznetsova’s phone is already ringing.
Ira:
Yes, Marya Ivanovna!
Teacher:
Irochka, be so kind as to tell the whole class what level you have reached in the Sims game.
Irochka stands up and says loudly:
Today I set a new record! I reached level 68 in the Sims game. Now I have new opportunities, new clothes and much more!
Teacher:
Well done, Ira! Have five ice creams! And the rest of you will definitely learn from Ira, and then you can also earn the highest score of five ice creams!
Sidorov shouts:
Marya Ivanovna! Yes, The Sims is a game for girls! When we move on to the new game, something about shooting games and spells? Then I will show exactly what I am capable of, earn five ice creams, and my parents will buy me a new gaming joystick so that I can learn to play even better.
Teacher:
Take your time Sidorov! In a week we will move on to a new game. In the meantime, better remind the class how to behave at school.
Sidorov:
Rules of behavior at school:
- don’t be late for recess!
- do not watch cartoons via the Internet, so as not to occupy the network and not interfere with playing in class.
- eat all the ice cream received in class.
— don’t forget your phone and tablet charger at home!
Teacher:
Well done! Do you remember everything? Here comes the bell, you can go!
The student comes back onto the stage and says:
— this is roughly how we imagine an ideal school: instead of gaming lessons on a tablet and on a computer, instead of grades, ice cream.
But tell me, will we gain knowledge with such a school? Of course not! That's why we like our school better with our favorite teachers! Although...if you think about it...well, no, it’s much better this way!
Happy holiday to you. Our beloved and respected teachers!
Modern dance for Teacher's Day for 5th grade - video
On Teacher's Day, 5th grade students should learn a bright, spectacular and moving festive dance. Popular modern songs by domestic and foreign authors are suitable as musical accompaniment. The melody can be played on available musical instruments (accordion, guitar, piano, etc.) or you can connect an instrumental ensemble to the performance of the number, if there is one at the school. Well, if problems arise with “live” music, there is a very simple way out - a tape recorder or a stereo system. Any equipment with powerful speakers will perfectly reproduce any soundtrack, making the performance successful and at the highest level.
Dance for Teacher's Day “Hey, Hey” performed by 5th grade students
In this video, 5th grade students perform a cheerful and catchy dance for their teachers to the famous song Girlfriend by the mega-popular Canadian singer Avril Lavigne. To the accompaniment of a clear, rhythmic melody, four young schoolgirls in comfortable sportswear for youth move quickly and actively around the improvised stage, jumping and waving their arms. The dance is somewhat reminiscent of exercise elements of the once very popular aerobics, so to perform it, girls need to have not only an impeccable ear for music, but also good sports training. After all, along with the most ordinary dance steps, you will have to do a cartwheel and do the splits. Children who do not have appropriate stretching and good gymnastics skills simply will not be able to repeat these movements. Well, without them the number will lose its originality, effectiveness and original, catchy style.
Dance for Teacher's Day for grades 10-11 - video ideas for a holiday concert
When drawing up a plan for a gala event dedicated to the wonderful holiday of all teachers, you need to think through the program in such a way that funny staged scenes for Teacher's Day are necessarily interspersed with bright and spectacular dance numbers. This will avoid monotony and pleasantly dilute the humorous performances of students. It would be appropriate to start a concert, both in elementary and high school, with a beautiful and touching song about teachers, school, events in classes, lessons and tests. If possible, it would be a good idea to illustrate the piece of music with videos filmed even on a regular phone by students or the class teacher. In a mini-film, it is appropriate to briefly talk about relationships at school and highlight some significant moments for students and teachers (ceremonial assembly, a joint trip to nature, a trip to the forest, a cleanup day, a lesson is opened, etc.). This will lift the spirits of everyone present and allow you to once again relive the pleasant moments of school everyday life.
At the next stage of the holiday, it makes sense to say sincere, kind and very warm words of congratulations to the teachers and wish them patience, endurance, success in their work and all the best. You can end the official ceremonial part with a humorous sketch of “Othello and Desdemona”, and after it move on to fun, entertaining and catchy dance numbers.
For musical performances, you need to choose beautiful melodies and carefully think about what dances to perform to them. With students in grades 5-10, you can learn unusual movements or create a kind of dance medley, where in one number melodies of different styles are used, from the usual classics to rock and roll, break dancing or rap popular among youth. If the school is preparing a general concert on the occasion of Teacher's Day, it is worth staging several combined numbers in which students from different classes will take part. This will further unite the school community and allow younger children to feel the support, attention and good attitude of high school students and future graduates.
Dance for Teacher's Day from students of grades 10-11
Dance for Teacher's Day performed by 10th grade students
Dance for Teacher's Day - performed by students of grades 5 and 10
Olesya Emelyanova
A skit about a teacher
Scene duration: 15 minutes; number of actors: from 4 to 8.
Characters:
teacher
Excellent student Kruglova
Loser Petrov
C student Barankin
Doctor Kruglova
Cook Barankin
Savage Petrov
Host (live actor)
The stage is empty. The Leader comes out.
Leading
That's what a mystery I am
I will puzzle you all:
He's nothing less than family
It means for kids.
He will tell them everything
No matter what they ask him,
A special home for him
Autumn opens.
Speeds and noise there
He's a limiter.
It’s not difficult for us to guess,
Who is he?
Spectators
Teacher!
The Teacher comes out from behind the scenes. The presenter and audience applaud.
Presenter (to viewers)
Come on, clap harder
Is it not enough strength?
The presenter applauds very strongly, often and loudly.
Teacher (To the Leader)
That's enough, don't take your hands away!
(to the audience)
Hello guys!
About your profession
I'll tell you with pleasure.
I give all of myself to her.
Even on Saturdays.
No one needs me more
Will never.
I work hard so that the children
People grew up!
I teach them to read, write,
Speak beautifully
Count without a computer
Apples and plums.
I help you become smarter -
If you don't study,
The real savages
You can transform.
Now the age has come:
No knowledge - fired.
Who has become at least someone in life,
He studied at...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
School!
teacher
Set a good goal in life -
The school will show the way
So stupid your briefcase
Bury on the beach.
School is a temple of knowledge,
The grave of nonsense!
Leading
Tell me what's there
Cute little ones are waiting!
Teacher (strictly)
That's what we'll call them
Grandma and mom
At school they all have to
Become…
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Students!
Petrov and Barankin run onto the stage and fight with briefcases.
teacher
Hey Petrov! Barankin, hey!
Don't get killed for a moment!
Petrov and Barankin run away from the stage.
teacher
It's a bunch of kids
They call...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Cool!
Leading
How do children know
With whom and where to study?
teacher
Classes are given names
It's hard to get lost:
First "A" and First "B"…
Everything is easy and simple.
Mine, for example, is the Third "G".
The teacher shows a sign with the name of the class.
Leading
teacher
Seriously!
Leading
Calling a number with a letter
The whole class is dishonest!
Why not call
Somehow interesting:
For example, beetles, marmots,
Robots, dragons...
Teacher (instructively)
This is not a camp by the river,
Let them play at home.
Sometimes strictness is needed
There are reasons for this:
We must educate
In children...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Discipline!
The bell rings.
Presenter (scared)
What else is this?
teacher
Call!
The first one is the best!
Leading
It's a miracle I didn't go deaf -
Just a real devil!
You can hear it even on the porch!
teacher
He will remind you on time
About the beginning and the end
Everyone...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Lesson!
teacher
I'll show you now
How is the lesson going?
Third "G"! Go to class!
Excellent student Kruglova comes onto the stage, followed by Petrov and Barankin.
Petrov (sadly)
All! End of freedom!
Petrov pulls Kruglova’s pigtail.
Kruglova
Ay! Let me go! Leave me alone, fool!
Petrov (cheeky)
Neither yesterday nor tomorrow!
Petrov again pulls Kruglova’s pigtail. Kruglova tries to hit him with her briefcase, he tries to run away. The teacher stops him.
Teacher (strictly)
Stop running. It's time for you
Sit down again...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Desks!
Three desks and a blackboard appear on the stage. The students take their seats; when their names are mentioned, they stand up and immediately sit down.
teacher
So! Kruglova...
Kruglova (loudly)
teacher
Petrov...
And Barankin...
The teacher takes out and opens the class magazine.
teacher
Farther away
I need students
Register in…
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Magazine!
teacher
Everything about it needs to be celebrated.
Apart from excuses.
I see you, Petrov, again
Didn't solve the assignments.
Petrov (indignantly)
Why me all the time?
Teacher (fun)
You are the star of the week!
Where is the notebook, my love?
Petrov
The crocodiles ate it!
I hit them on the head.
Barankin (with bated breath)
What are they?
Petrov
Teacher (impatiently)
Stop lying! Go to the blackboard
And solve the problem.
Petrov gets up and walks dejectedly to the board.
teacher
Don't be mad at the plot:
Over a sweet conversation
We drank tea at the Petrovs'
Eight crocodiles.
Brankin and Kruglova giggle.
Petrov
You're all lying!
teacher
And one
I violated etiquette
Ate Petrov's notebook and
I even ate a cup.
Now, Petrov, tell me,
How many whole cups?
And write down the decision
On the board we...
The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.
Spectators
Chalk!
The teacher gives chalk to Petrov.
Kruglova (raises hand)
Can I? Well, can I?
teacher
Stop it, Kruglova!
Ask one you
The school is not ready.
Petrov (in a round whisper)
Tell me!
Kruglova (in principle)
No way!
Barankin (whispering)
Kruglova (loudly so that Petrov does not hear Barankin)
Petrov (with annoyance)
Teacher (sternly to Barankin)
Don't tell me, or else
I'll take you out of class.
Barankin
It's mean not to help a friend,
Everyone knows this!
Teacher (instructively)
If you don't mind helping!
Do it honestly:
He didn't understand - explain
Friendship is power!
If you're a friend, then win
Lying crocodiles!
Make sure your friend does it himself
I solved everything,
And he came to us with a notebook -
We don’t bite lies!
What, will you take it on?
Barankin
It's too difficult!
Kruglova (vindictively)
Reeducate him
Simply impossible!
He is a slacker and a fool!
Petrov approaches Kruglova and pulls her pigtail, she hits him on the head with a textbook.
teacher
Stop fighting!
Did you count or what?
How many cups?
Petrov
Twenty!
Right?
teacher
Unfortunately, no!
Petrov
teacher
Wrong again.
Who will give the correct answer?
Kruglova holds out her hand.
teacher
Speak, Kruglova!
Kruglova
Barankin (grumpily)
Well, what did I say!
Petrov
It should have been louder!
teacher
Where is the diary, Petrov?
Petrov (defiantly)
Forgot
In the mouth of a crocodile!
He chewed it
Spit it out in the trash!
You can add it to your magazine
Give your deuce!
Presenter (indignantly)
That's who I would slap
"Count" for behavior!
teacher
No, my profession
Requires patience!
Petrov
Be patient, be healthy:
Apples plus plums!
teacher
You are behaving, Petrov,
Not very nice!
Petrov (passionately)
Here we go, school! Get it!
Petrov throws his briefcase at the board.
Petrov (to the teacher and class)
You are bothering me!
Prince, without leaving the stove,
Emelya has become a fool!
So even without school I
I'll settle down well
Instead of a stove I have
There will be a whole train!
I'll set up a dacha for myself
And the rocket garage,
Will have its own circus performer...
teacher
Yes, it’s not harmful to dream!
Me, friends, already now
Just a guess
What will become of you
So in twenty years.
Children at their desks disappear. Instead of them, adults appear - Doctor Kruglova, Cook Barankin and Savage Petrov, overgrown with hair and looking like a homeless person.
Doctor Kruglova
I am now a famous doctor
I cure everyone's illness!
Cook Barankin
I know how to bake a loaf of bread -
It's healthier than medicine!
teacher
Well, what have you become, Petrov?
What have you achieved?
Savage Petrov (with a sigh)
Degraded and now
Turned into this!
Doctor Kruglova (horrified)
He has fur on his body!
Savage Petrov (plaintively)
It's getting worse every day.
I am who I am
Society doesn't need it.
None of me at all
It worked out in life.
I really regret that
Didn't go to school.
Now I’m not happy about it myself -
The finish is lower than the start.
I wish I could bring it all back,
Sit down at your desk again.
teacher
Do you want to take me to first grade?
Savage Petrov (with hope)
Can? Are you seriously?
teacher
Yes! Learn to no one
It's never too late!
Here: textbooks, briefcase...
The teacher takes out and gives Dikar Petrov his briefcase.
Savage Petrov
Yes, now I know
Pike and pechek for Emel
Doesn't happen in life!
I'm too lazy to grow overgrown
I'll stop using wool.
I'll pass my exams again
I'll become a man!
The bell rings.
teacher
So the bell rang.
It's time for us to say goodbye.
Our lesson is over,
Before it even started.
Doctor Kruglova and cook Barankin give the Teacher bouquets of flowers.
Doctor Kruglova
To you! For helping
Bring us out into the public!
Cook Barankin
We remember and love you
We'll be here for a long, long time!
The teacher leaves. The presenter, spectators and heroes on stage applaud her.
Interesting and funny skits for schoolchildren. Sketch about school and teachers.
Sketch for schoolchildren.
DEAR TEACHERS!
(A play from school life)
Characters:
Morkovkin,
Senkiyaa,
Lastochkina.
Part 1
Leading(from students): Dear participants! I propose to declare our extremely important ceremonial meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what we should do next with the school.
Students(from the seat): Correct! How long can you endure!
Leading: Because we do not comply with the main law of school life - “Learning should be fun!” The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class, Zaitsev.
Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. And in comfortable conditions. I don't get enough sleep at my desk. And then, there are such insensitive teachers who wake you up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is disgraceful!
Lisitsyn(from the seat): If I don’t wake you up, you’ll fall on your neighbors! I believe that, on the contrary, the main problem is that the lesson is too boring! There must be loud music, a disco there, something like that!
Leading: Please follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, don’t stick your head out until you’ve been given the floor. Carry on, Zaitsev. What constructive suggestions do you have?
Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, humane conditions must be created. At least put some folding beds in! And please, protect from any Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and noise! Personally, I don't need them.
Leading: So you are for separate education? There is a rational grain in this. Secretary, write down: cots and separate education. Who wants to add something substantive? Morkovkin!
Morkovkin: I personally don’t like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Complete scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, then they should have built a swimming pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food, so as not to ruin the stomachs here. There are kebabs and ice cream. Chebureks. The list can be compiled later.
Leading: I think no one has any objections. (Addresses the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a swimming pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each classroom. Who is next?
Enotov: That's not what we're talking about. After all, it's all peripheral. We come to school and spend the best 11 years of our lives there, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study things that are truly necessary for the survival of the student. For example: the best way to cheat, the best way to distract a teacher in class, how to get parents to spend money on them, how to reduce the school workload to a minimum, how to spend school time pleasantly and usefully.
Leading: Personally, I respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this term anyway, we must carry it out with minimal losses. Secretary, please record Enotov’s speech almost verbatim! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What should we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a report.
Goshkin: I actually observed it here, but they, in fact, have gone completely crazy. They give me all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then lowered his blood pressure. And they're yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a breed of kangaroo, so what, who feels bad about it? I suggest that everyone who yells and harasses the house should be kicked out of school.
Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are fundamentally wrong. You need to work with the material that you have. Not to expel, but to re-educate!
Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must be patient too! You, Koshkin, especially! Who threw a cockroach into my compote yesterday in the dining room? You still have to re-educate and re-educate yourself!
Goshkin: Ha! It's a pity! Feel sorry for yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!
Leading: Let's avoid class segregation, please. Carry on, Senkina.
Senkina: No, really, just think about it. By 8am every day. You won’t be able to skip much, because adults have even more serious problems in this regard. We tolerate them one at a time, they tolerate us at a rate of thirty at a time. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - not only scream, but also start biting! This is any of us, just hit them on the head with a briefcase - and for fifteen minutes you can relax. But such methods are prohibited for teachers.
Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have already come, let them be patient.
Senkina: It's good for you to reason! And she, maybe, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded her to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors there are?! Can't really argue with that. And now she’s old enough to learn a new way, but doesn’t know how to do anything else. Your mother works as a cleaner, has she dreamed of this all her life?
Koshkin: Where will she go with three children? She might even go to school, but who will support her?
Senkina: So are teachers. They got into trouble once, but now they are enduring with all their might. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not become embittered, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relationships and influence gently, delicately.
Leading: Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and correct their behavioral stereotypes.
Lastochkina: Or maybe we should even give them a vacation? Let them rest a little, and at the same time become better.
Leading: They would be happy, but who will allow them? They have the same attendance and program.
Lastochkina: Why can’t we teach the lesson ourselves? Let them slowly make their way to school, sit in the back desk, and we’ll all tell them what’s supposed to happen there. Let them relax for at least a week or two. And some of them are really painful to look at—they’re so twitchy, they’re crying like a madhouse.
Leading: Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? Let's write it down. How do we present this to them?
Senkina: Let's come up with something!
Leading: OK. I believe that we had a useful meeting today. Will be working.
Everyone leaves.
Part 2
There are two people on stage - the Presenter and Senkina.
Leading: Dear teachers! We are extremely happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this special day, we want to tell you how much we love you and how grateful we are for everything you do for us.
Senkina: Dear teachers! We know how tired you are from your hard work. That's why we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! You don't have to prepare for lessons for the next two weeks! Because we will lead them for you... we! And you will relax quietly and calmly in the back desks. Like your laziest students.
Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.
Senkina: Don't clutter your head with overwhelming tasks.
Leading: Don't pick on your appearance.
Senkina: You might even be late!
Leading: And skip classes!
Senkina: No, of course, we will try to make your classes interesting. But we won’t force you!
Leading: We also wish you all:
All(one by one):
- Happiness!
- Health!
- Energy!
- Courage!
- Have a good mood!
- Capable students!
- Responsible parents!
— Loyal administration!
- Optimism!
- And a big salary!
All(in chorus): Happy holiday!
Boys in full skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to the tune of an operetta.
It’s impossible to live in the world without school, no.
It contains the happiness of life,
In it the dawn of fate.
Teachers teach us here
Me, you, you, me.
They and I are connected by the same fate.
You and I have been coming here since childhood,
School has replaced our home,
We come here every day.
We congratulate you on this holiday,
With all my heart and soul now
We will play and sing
About how fun we are.
We will play and sing
About how fun, how happily we live.
Sketch for schoolchildren
THEATER PERFORMANCE “RING SHOW”
There are two teams on stage. In front of one is a sign that says “Parents” in big letters, and in front of the other is “Teachers.”
Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone is installed at the parent meeting of the Nth school. Team of teachers versus team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I also feel sorry for the teachers... So, let's start!
1st teacher: Dear comrade parents! We invited you today to report on new outrages committed by your children.
1st parent: Dear fellow teachers! Our houses are located next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students afford.
2nd teacher: Your children.
2nd parent: Your students.
3rd teacher: I wonder who brings frogs from home and makes them croak in class?
3rd parent: And who forces children to saw the legs of chairs at home, supposedly doing their homework?
4th teacher: What if you do all your homework for your children?
4th parent: You assign stupid tasks and want the children to become smarter!
5th teacher: Yeah, but how wise you are! And who gives prizes to children for good grades? I just wonder how many of our fives your salary is enough for?
5th parent: And our settlements with children do not concern you.
6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?
6th parent: Who taught them to write?
7th teacher: And the sloppy ones!
7th parent: Look at your school! In general, it’s high time to organize parking. Otherwise, when you come to pick up your child, there is nowhere to park the car.
8th teacher: It would have been a good idea to help the school improve the grounds a long time ago.
8th parent: Your students...
9th teacher: Your children!
Leading: Stop, it's a draw, the question remains open.